By Ryan Van Meter

ISBN-10: 1932511946

ISBN-13: 9781932511949

The heart American coming-of-age has stumbled on new existence in Ryan Van Meter's coming-out, made as unusual because it is usual by way of acknowledging the position performed by way of gender and sexuality. In fourteen associated essays, If You Knew Then What i do know Now reinvents the memoir with all-encompassing empathy—for bully and bullied alike. A father pitches baseballs at his hapless son and a grandmother watches with silent forbearance because the similar narrow, quiet boy units the desk wearing a blue satin costume. one other essay explores origins of the note "faggot" and its etymological connection to "flaming queen." This deft assortment maps the unremarkable landscapes of adolescence with compassion and precision, permitting awkwardness its personal attractiveness. this is often essay as an issue for the intimate—not the sensational—and an embody of all of the skinned knees in our stumble towards adulthood.

Ryan Van Meter grew up in Missouri and studied English on the collage of Missouri-Columbia. After graduating, he lived in Chicago for ten years and labored in advertisements. He holds an MA in artistic writing from DePaul collage and an MFA in nonfiction writing from the college of Iowa. His essays have seemed in The Gettysburg Review, Indiana Review, Gulf Coast, Arts & Letters, and Fourth style, between others, and chosen for anthologies together with top American Essays 2009. in the summertime of 2009, he used to be offered a residency on the MacDowell Colony. He presently lives in California the place he's an assistant professor of inventive nonfiction on the college of San Francisco.

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If You Knew Then What I Know Now by Ryan Van Meter

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